Richey and Bryce = ) |
http://youtu.be/4Z8bXcBRIU0 - Want to be just like You - Phillips Craig & Dean
“Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you." Exodus 20:12
When I was younger, I thought that God had just made up a bunch of rules and regulations for me to follow. I thought it was a test to see if I would obey. Some of the rules seemed impossible to follow. Some just didn't make any sense to my human mind. But I tried to obey the best I could because I didn't want to be punished by God. I saw Him as a disciplinarian ready to slap my hand whenever I failed to measure up to His expectations. And I never measured up.
I obeyed out of fear, not out of love or gratitude. I still fear Him; but it's more like being awestruck by His power and His majesty. He is Creator of the Universe, and I'm so humbled and so grateful that HE loves me. I fear Him - not unlike how I feared my parents when I knew I had done something I shouldn't have done. I wasn't afraid for my life, but I knew there would definitely be consequences for my actions. I didn't like being disciplined very much.
Richey, me and Mikey |
I have a different perspective now. As a parent, I understand the love behind the rules and regulations. The rules I make as mom are meant to make life easier, safer, and more enjoyable for my child. My rules are designed specifically to help my child be the best he can be. Sometimes that means correcting and disciplining him so that he can learn how to make better choices. He doesn't always understand why he can't do this or that, because he doesn't have the experience or hindsight that his dad and I have.
Larry's mom, LaVerne, used to tell him, "Larry, you can go along the road of life and hit every pothole, or you can listen to me, and I can direct you around those potholes." Pretty wise advice.
All of us parents were young once. We have experiened the journey from birth to adulthood. As long ago as it was, I still remember being a teenager so clearly. I remember the good times and the bad times. Looking back, I have a different view of those life experiences. I remember how terrible I felt when I broke up with my high school boyfriend. I was hurt and devastated! I thought I'd never find anyone else like him. It was the end of my world - at least that's how it felt at the time. Looking back now, breaking up was probably the best thing that could have ever happened. God had a better plan for me. I just couldn't see it at the time. But my parents did.
Of course, I blamed my parents for the breakup! I don't how I managed to make it their fault that he was not a good boyfriend, but I managed. All they did was try to encourage me. They assured me that there would be someone else much better down the road. But every time they tried to "help" me, I'd get defensive and angry at them - not because they were wrong, but because they were right. And when you're a teenager, it's really hard to admit that your parents are right about anything. = )
I wished I had known then what I know now. My parents loved me more than anyone else on earth.
They wanted me to be happy and have a wonderful, full life. They sacrificed for me. They always put my needs ahead of their own. Why? Because I was their child, and they loved me more than I could understand.
Now I understand. I know how much they loved me because I'm a parent, and I know how much I love my children and grandchildren. I would do anything humanly possible to insure their happiness. The rules I made for my sons as they were growing up were meant to protect them and to help them learn how to be responsible, caring adults. Not one rule was meant to hurt them and or to make life harder than it had to be. Not one rule was meant to take away even one second of their happiness.
As a parent, the hardest thing to do is to stand by and watch your child making a mistake that could easily be avoided. If only they would listen! I've been there. I know what will happen if they continue on a certain course. And I know how to make it better because I've lived it. I have the experience. I know the outcome of those choices. But they don't always listen, and even when they do listen, they some how think their situation is totally different from what mine was all those years ago. But as Solomon so wisely said, "There's nothing new under the sun." Our children make the same mistakes we made because they don't fully trust our love or wisdom.
How do we get our children to understand that everything we do, every rule, every disciplinary action, every thought we have towards them is for good and not evil? How do get them to trust our love so that they can listen when we instruct them on how to choose the right path? How do we teach our children to honor their parents? Why do children have to make all their own mistakes instead of learning from the two people who love them more than anyone on earth loves them?
I think one of the problems is that husbands and wives don't honor each other in front of the children. We criticize and put down our spouses too often. It's disrespectful. And if we don't respect each other, why should our children respect us?
Sitcoms have taken a bad turn in the last few years. Dad is always a big joke. Mom is almost always portrayed as "the smart one"; she's usually quick witted and doesn't mind throwing a cutting remark in dad's direction. The kids take in every word, every eye roll, every put down, and eventually, they may very well copy mom's behavior and attitude. This happens in reverse, too. Dads don't always respect their wives. They don't always demand that the children treat mom with respect and honor. If dad doesn't pay any attention to what mom has to say, why should the kids? That's what we see on T.V. and in the movies. Unfortunately, that's what many of us see at home, too.
I've made lots of mistakes, and I wished I could have a "do over" or two. Hindsight makes all things so much clearer. I've learned lots of very hard lessons, and how I wished my children and grandchildren could learn from my mistakes instead of having to make the same stupid mistakes themselves.
This is what I know:
- If I don't treat my husband with respect, eventually, my child will not respect him either.
- If my husband never places any value on my knowledge or my contributions to our family, my child won't think I have any value either.
- If I use cutting remarks and put downs towards my husband, my children will think he's a big joke. Why would they trust dad with any problem they might have? I've made him out to be a big loser who can't do anything right.
- If my husband is verbally or physically abusive to me, then my child may imitate those abusivebehaviors - either towards me or towards a future spouse.
Bottom line: The only way we're going to get our children to honor their parents is if we honor each other.
That means even if we are divorced from the other parent, we still need to teach our sons and daughters how to respect the other parent, for their sake.
When children respect their moms and dads, they are more likely to listen and to obey them. Life would be so much easier if they would do that. So many of those potholes could be avoided if children would just listen and obey the instructions of their parents. Aren't I just so full of wisdom? lol
But guess what? Here I am at 62, and I still make those same dumb mistakes. Sometimes I still refuse to listen and obey my Father, just like I did when I was a kid. The difference is now I know better. = (
My heavenly Father gives me rules and guidelines for living my best life. Do I listen? Do I always obey?
Nope. You see, sometimes I think His rules are a little outdated. After all, He made those rules thousands of years ago. Lots of things have changed since then. Right? Not really. The hairstyles and clothing may be different; and of course, we now live in a high speed internet world full of all kinds of challenges; we're inundated with advertisements telling us that we deserve to be first; we deserve to be happy. On the surface, life seems very different now. How can God expect us to follow those old rules?
Again, we have Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, telling us, "There is nothing new under the sun". But what does he know?
Think about every challenge you face.
Sickness - the man with leprosy, Job
Death of a loved one - Mary and Martha when Lazarus died
Suffering - every apostle, Job, and of course, Jesus most of all
Relationships - Joseph and his brothers, Job had a discouraging wife
Financial issues - the widow who gave her last penny, Matthew, a tax collector had to change his career, Job lost everything.
Depression, Jealousy, Self-esteem issues - David was depressed; King Saul was jealous; the woman who was caught in adultery felt worthless, ashamed, Job was depressed...
Mental illness - pretty much everyone who had a demon cast out, Saul
Marriage issues - Bathesheba and Uriah, Hosea and Gomer, Abraham and Sarah, Jacob and his wives = )
The list could go on and on. Go ahead. Try and think of even one challenge that we have today that the people in early bible times didn't have. Adultery, promiscuity, homosexuality, bickering and division in the church, etc.
Every temptation falls into one of these three common denominators:
1 John 2:16 says, “For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world.”
Pride - "me first"
Lust of the flesh - craving things of this world
Lust of the eye - being enticed by outward beauty or desirability
Every single struggle, every single temptation we experience has happened before to other people. God has seen the same sins happen over and over again since the beginning of time. He knows how to avoid the potholes, but we won't listen.
Adam and Eve faced temptation in the same way we do:
Genesis 3:6
“When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate; and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate.”
One rule! That's all they had to follow! God told them not to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. This rule was for their protection; for their long term happiness. If they didn't partake of the fruit from this tree, they would not become aware of sin. They would remain innocent before God.
But they didn't listen. They didn't trust God's love towards them. They listened instead to the enemy.
The serpent twisted the truth. He planted a seed of doubt. "You will not surely die, for God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil." Genesis 3:4
Eve could be just like God! Pride crept in.
We all are susceptible to becoming prideful. Pride is all about self. We seek honor and power for ourselves rather than giving all honor to God. Anytime we trust in ourselves instead of trusting in God, we can become prideful.
When I think of pride, I get an image in my head of a football player who has just made a touchdown. He's in the end zone doing a little dance, pounding his chest, just screaming, "look at what I did!". He seems to have forgotten all the other people who made the touchdown possible. The quarterback, his teammates who protected the quarterback so that he could execute a good pass, all the guys who blocked and tackled, clearing the way so that he could run the distance... But he crosses the goal line - not them. He did it. That's pride - failing to give honor to those who made his victory possible; taking all the glory for himself.
Eve saw that the fruit looked good. Lust of the Eye - Genesis 3:6 - "When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good and pleasing to the eye..." The fruit looked good; it enticed Eve. The outside beauty of the fruit tempted her to question God. How can anything so beautiful be bad?
2 Corinthians 11:14b
...for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light.
Eve trusted her own understanding. The fruit was desirable and appealing. Her human desires for food and for more knowledge became a stumbling block for her. She wanted something this world could offer -delicious food and wisdom. Her Creator knew what was best for her, but she thought she knew better. The lust of the flesh - selfish desires tempted her.
Genesis 3:6 - "...the fruit ... also was desirable for gaining wisdom."
Jesus was tempted in the same way when He was in the wilderness. He had fasted for 40 days and nights, and certainly, He was hungry and tired. The enemy always hits us when we are weakness, most vulnerable.
Matthew 4 tells us how the devil tempted Jesus.
"If You are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread." Matthew 4:3 – lust of the flesh
Then the devil took Him to the holy city and had Him stand on the highest point of the temple.
"If You are the Son of God", he said, "throw Yourself down. For it is written, 'He will command His angels concerning You, and they will lift You up in their hands, so that You will not strike Your foot against a stone.'" Matthew 4:5-6 – the pride of life
Again, the devil took Him to a very high mountain and showed Him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. "All this I will give You, he said, if You will bow down and worship me." Matthew 4:8-9 - the lust of the eyes.
Here's the thing. Adam and Eve did not listen to God. He knew what would happen if they ate of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. He warned them specifically, "DO NOT EAT". He gave them every other tree to eat and use as they saw fit; just not this one tree. The serpent convinced Adam and Eve that God was holding out on them; that He didn't want the very best for them. So, instead of listening to God, they used their own logic and reason, tainted by the lies of the serpent. And they did what they wanted to do.
The devil tried the same tactic with Jesus. But Jesus remembered His Father's Words. He answered every temptation with Scripture: "It is written". He could have said, "My Father says..." Jesus knew that the only way He was going to accomplish His purpose - Salvation for those who believed - would be by listening to His Father and doing everything He told Him to do. He knew His Father had a plan and a purpose for Him. Not only did He listen, He obeyed. He showed honor and respect to His Father because He knew His Father loved Him. He trusted His Father completely.
Sin came into the world by one man - Adam. But by one Man, Christ, we can all be saved. The difference between these two men was the first disobeyed and the last One obeyed.
Why can't I learn to trust my Father? He has never failed me. He's never steered me wrong. He's never abandoned me, even when I turned my back on Him for a while. He provides for me. He protects me. He blesses me so much. He even sent His Son to take my punishment so that I can be with Him for all Eternity. I know He wants the best for me. He knows the past, present and future and how every choice I make plays out for good or for bad. He has a plan for me that's far greater than anything I can imagine. I seek happiness on earth - He wants so much more for me; He wants me to live a life full of joy for ever and ever.
I truly believe He loves me; I believe He wants the best for me, So, why oh why, do I not listen when He speaks? Why don't I seek His direction in every circumstance? Why don't I obey Him instead of thinking I know a better way?
I think if we parents could teach our children to sincerely trust us; to have faith in us; enough faith to obey our instructions even when those instructions seem counter to what they want to accomplish; if our children could just remember that we've been there and have so much more insight and wisdom because of our life experiences; and if they could just know without a doubt how great our love is for them, maybe then when they grew up and became Christians, it would be the most natural thing in the world for them to trust their Heavenly Father. The most important thing I can give my children is a deep, personal understanding of how much God loves them, and that He has a very special pupose and plan for each of us. We just need to trust Him.
Father God, thank You for loving me and for being so patient with me. Forgive me for being rebellious, even now I still have moments when I think I know best. You'd think I would have learned by now.. Thank You for patiently prompting me and guiding me. Thank You for not giving up on me. Father, please help me as a mom and a grandmom to teach my children and granchildren by my example. Help me to show them how to obey - even when it doesn't make sense to me. Maybe if they can see me obeying You, without hesitation, maybe they will learn to trust You completely, too. Help me show them Your amazing love and faithfulness through every circumstance that you allow in my life. Father, help me to remember that before You allow one difficulty or struggle in my life, You filter every single challenge through Your deep and abiding love for me. Father, instead of focusing on getting to the end of a struggle, help me to focus more on allowing You to accomplish Your purpose for me during the difficulties. You are always faithful and I trust You to bring me good and not evil; a hope and a future. I don't want to settle for my idea of happiness. Fill me up, LORD, with Your Joy which lasts for ever and ever. In the precious Name of Jesus, I ask all these things. Amen.
http://youtu.be/3JfifnH3wd0 - The One You Need - Shane and Shane
Mikey and Brooklyn |
Mikey, Jill, Brooklyn and Presley |
Richey, Amber, Jaycie and Bryce |
Rob, Jenna, Ally, Cari and Bobby |
Larry, me and Tyler 2011
Family forever ~ ~ ~