Faith - Believing even when I can't see or feel



"I will never leave nor forsake you."
Hebrews 13:5b

 I have two choices:  I can believe God, or I can believe the Enemy - the father of Lies. 

http://youtu.be/98nG3xH02wo - I Know You're There - Casting Crowns

There are periods of time when I don't feel God's Presence.  During those times I begin to question if He loves me or if He cares for me.  After all, if He loves me, why won't He show Himself to me when I desperately need to know He's there?

I'm convinced that the Enemy picks up on my periods of doubt, and being the cunning schemer he is, the Enemy begins to attack my faith.  I start questioning... I focus on how alone I feel, how deserted, how empty...

But who am I going to believe?   Satan - the Father of Lies?  or will I believe the Creator and Sustainer of the Universe who has put Eternity in my heart?  How do I trust God's love for me?  I look to His promises. 


To walk by faith means not trusting in my own understanding.

Proverbs 3:5
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."

My understanding may not be right:

* Scientists say earth hurls through space at great speed; to you it seems motionless.

* A doctor says a mark on your body is cancer; to you it feels harmless.

* An electrician says a wire is dangerously live; to you it looks dead.

* A mechanic says your car needs oil immediately; you don’t think it’s necessary.

* A soldier says an area is sown with land-mines; you can’t see any.


Instead of trusting in my own feelings/understanding, I can choose to believe His Promises.

* When I feel empty - Jesus says ‘if anyone loves me . . . my Father will love him and we will make our home with him’ (John 14:23)

* When I feel God doesn't care - Jesus says how often I would have gathered your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings Matthew 23:37

* When I feel God doesn't love me any more - God says nothing can separate you from the love of God Romans 8:35-39; God says Jesus was bruised and wounded for you  Isaiah 53:5
* I don't understand why I have to suffer or struggle - God says be not surprised at the painful trial you are suffering 1 Peter 4:12, we must go through many hardships to enter the kingdom  Acts 14:22
* I feel ashamed or guilty over past sins; that God can't forgive me - God says my sins are wiped out Acts 3:9  and He will remember them no more Isaiah 43:25; Hebrews 8:12


The Enemy knows that I'm susceptible to doubt.  When he sees me struggling when I face difficult times or when I go through those periods of time when I just can't feel God's presence, the Enemy hits me from every angle.  He knows that he only has a little time before I will remember who I am.  I am a child of God and He is my Defender and Protector.  He is always there - even if I don't see it.  Instead of allowing myself to doubt, to keep questioning my faith and inviting spiritual attack, I can call on the Lord to deliver me.  My job is to trust in His promises and not lean on my own understanding.  It's walking by faith - not sight.

If I put my trust in feelings and circumstances to verify God's Presence in my life, I'm no longer walking by faith.  When my "feelings/understanding" waiver, when I feel weak in my faith, that's when I can be the strongest. I remember that I am only human and my strength is weak.  But the promise He gave me is when I'm weak, I can trust in Him to be my Strength.

2 Corinthians 12:7-10
So to keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from becoming proud.

Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away.  Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

I wonder if Paul doubted God's presence in his life when he plead for the removal of the thorn but God didn't answer his prayer - at least not the way he wanted?  If I was Paul I would have thought how much more effective I could be without the problem.  But instead of doubting God's love, Paul trusted Christ's strength to carry him through the tough times.

Even John the Baptist had times of doubt. Remember when he was in prison waiting to be beheaded?  John had seen the Spirit of God descend on Jesus at His baptism.  He had heard the Voice of God - "This is my beloved Son in whom I am well pleased."  He saw and he believed.  But then sitting alone in prison, knowing he was facing death, John doubted. Could he have been wrong?  Maybe this wasn't the promised Messiah? After all, if Jesus was the Messiah, wouldn't He save John from prison?  John  sent his disciples to Jesus and asked - "are you the Messiah?" For just a moment John doubted.  All the hard work he had done to prepare the way for the Messiah, and then God abandons him to be executed?  That couldn't seemed very loving.  But there was purpose.  There had to be less of John and more of Jesus.  John had fulfilled his purpose by spreading the good news of the coming Messiah. 

Luke 7:20
John’s two disciples found Jesus and said to him, “John the Baptist sent us to ask, ‘Are you the Messiah we’ve been expecting, or should we keep looking for someone else?’”


Jesus answered by reminding John of the Promise.  The Messiah would do great things. Isaiah prophesied:

Isaiah 35:3-6
There the Lord will display his glory, the splendor of our God.


With this news, strengthen those who have tired hands, and encourage those who have weak knees.

Say to those with fearful hearts, “Be strong, and do not fear, for your God is coming to destroy your enemies.
He is coming to save you.”

And when he comes, he will open the eyes of the blind and unplug the ears of the deaf.
The lame will leap like a deer, and those who cannot speak will sing for joy!


When John doubted, Jesus pointed him to the promise - "the blind will see, the lame will walk, the deaf will hear..."

Luke 7:22-23 NLT
Then he told John’s disciples, “Go back to John and tell him what you have seen and heard—the blind see, the lame walk, the lepers are cured, the deaf hear, the dead are raised to life, and the Good News is being preached to the poor. 23 And tell him, ‘God blesses those who do not turn away because of me.’”


God cannot lie and will remain true to His Word.  Did He promise to love me?  Did He promise to never leave nor forsake me?  Did He promise to give me everything I need to get through any challenge He might purposefully allow in my life?  Those are the promises that I will dwell on.  I  refuse to entertain any  thought that contradicts His promises. If I "capture each thought and make it obedient to Christ", I am resisting the Enemy.  James says when I resist the devil, guess what?  the devil will flee from me!  It's God's promise. 
 
2 Corinthians 10:4-6 NLT
We use God’s mighty weapons, not worldly weapons, to knock down the strongholds of human reasoning and to destroy false arguments. 5 We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ. 6 And after you have become fully obedient, we will punish everyone who remains disobedient.




James 4:7-8
So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come close to God, and God will come close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world.


My resolve to believe God's Promises rather than trusting in my "feelings or experiences" is God's way to give me victory.  It's also His way of strengthening my faith.   When I stand firm even when I cannot feel His Presence, my faith gets stronger and stronger.  I'm no longer relying on my feelings.  I'm relying on His Promises. When I think about it, some of the strongest believers I know have endured the greatest suffering, yet they trust God and His promises - even when they can't see Him or feel His presence.  They just keep trusting. 

Faith – believing in the integrity of God despite what things seem – is the basis of the entire Christian life.


I don’t care how impossible things look, how many failures I have experienced, how spiritually dead I feel, how much the Lord appears to overlook me: God is still the God of the Bible. His Word affirms He is my God and He loves me, regardless of how abandoned, unloved and insignificant my wild imagination paints me as being. That makes spiritual success inevitable. All I need do is stop wallowing in doubt long enough to receive my rightful inheritance.

So often God seems to deliberately overlook me. So often the Bible seems as dry as dust. So often I feel as if I have nothing to live for. My emotional pain seems endless. God constantly seems to favor others over me. But nothing – nothing – can change the constancy of the incomprehensible enormity of God’s love. Nothing can made God break his word.  -Grantley Morris - "When you can't feel God"

Holy Father, I believe! Please help my unbelief!  There are too days when I don't "hear Your voice" or "feel Your Presence".  Those days scare me, and I become afraid.  For just a moment, I question if You really love me or care for me.  But You've shown Yourself to be so faithful in my life, even when I'm not faithful.  Lord God strengthen my faith; help me to resist the lies of the Enemy; draw me near to You.  Father, one day in Your Presence is better than ten thousand days any where else.  I long for You.  I want to be sheltered under Your wing like a baby chick.  I want to find little loves notes from You everywhere I go.  When I do, my spirit is renewed, and I feel ready to face any challenge.  But then as quickly as that feeling came, it goes away, and I'm left feeling alone again, unloved and  unworthy.  I know those are lies because You have promised to never leave me nor forsake me.  You've promised to be my strength in times when I feel so weak and helpless.  Help me to remember and trust Your Promise.  I long for You and because of that longing, I know You have called me to be Yours.  I am Your child and I am greatly loved - even when I might not feel it.
Thank You for loving me and for always being with me.  I know Your right here and I will not listen to the Liar.  Thank for sending Your precious Son to save me from the power of darkness.  I rest in His love and I trust His Gift of Salvation.  And it's in His Name, in His authority that I pray.  Amen.

 It can be so hard to believe when I just don't feel His presence.  But I will not listen to the lies.  I know in whom I have believed and am persuaded that He is able to keep that which I've committed to Him until that glorious Day when I will spend Eternity with Him praising my wonderful gracious Lord and Savior.

2 Timothy 1:12 NKJV
For this reason I also suffer these things; nevertheless I am not ashamed, for I know whom I have believed and am persuaded that He is able to keep what I have committed to Him until that Day.





http://youtu.be/b61wsBdqrKM - You Never Let Go - Matt Redman

http://youtu.be/YU1rbSQT-Sw - Song of Hope - Robbie Seaay Band

http://youtu.be/MX5OqyBYKh4  - Get back up again - Toby Mac

"There but for the grace of God go I."

Matthew 7:12 NIV
So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.


The origin of this quote, “There but for the grace of God go I,” is attributed to John Bradford,
What he actually said was, “But for the grace of God there goes John Bradford.”

Bradford made the statement as he watched a group of criminals being led to their execution. Little did he know how true his quote, and the context in which he said it, was. John Bradford, an English preacher, was burned at the stake by Queen Mary for preaching the true Gospel of Jesus Christ and exposing England as a nation that had forsaken God. At that moment in his life, on July 15th 1555, the grace of God was sufficient for John Bradford as he gave up the ghost to enter an eternal paradise.  He was only 45 years old.


This quote comes to mind often.  I look around me and see so much pain and suffering.  "There but for the grace of God goes Carol Draehn."  Why was I born into a loving family who raised me to know Jesus?  Why am I healthy?  Why do I live in a Country where I am free to worship God?  Why do I live a nice big house with running water and electricity?  Why do I have food for every meal?  Why...

http://youtu.be/mBADk6dmGMI - Why me, Lord?   Kris Kristofferson

What have I ever done to deserve all the good things in my life?  I see others suffering and it's hard to understand why they don't have the blessings I have.  I'm so thankful to know that my Father is trustworthy and faithful.  Even when I don't understand, I know I can trust my Loving God.  Someday, it may be me suffering and I just pray that I'll be able to remember how much He's already done for me.  I want to trust Him to do good through the suffering when it comes. I know he can use those times to strengthening my faith or maybe the faith of someone near to me.

The other day I was leaving my office when I saw a little child - couldn't have been more than 3 years old - walking down the middle of the street in front of our building.  When I first saw him, I looked around for an adult.  Surely someone was outside with this child!  But there was no one.  I left my car door wide open with the keys in the ignition as I rushed to get this baby out of the street.  About the time I got to him, a man came out of the building next to our office,  and I thought maybe this was his child.  Nope.  He saw what I saw.  A little child in the middle of the street with no one watching him.  Together this man and I took the little boy back down the road to find his house.  He was old enough to show us where he lived, thankfully.  When we took him to the door, an older woman answered.  Lord, forgive me, but she did not look like anyone I'd leave my three year old with. If some stranger knocked on my door and had my three year old child, I would be horrified at what could have happened to my baby.  But this woman showed no concern at all that we found him walking down the middle of the street going who knows where?

We found out that the three year old is her son's son - she didn't say "my grandson" mind you.  What grandparent doesn't take every opportunity to say "this is my grandchild!" But this grandma didn't respond like I expected a grandmother to respond.  The very idea that this precious little boy could have been run over or kidnapped...  I was terrified at the thought of what could have happened, but she didn't seem to care.  As the man and I walked away, we looked at each other in disbelief.  All I could think about the rest of the day was that little boy didn't have a grandma who thought he hung the moon. Shouldn't every child have that kind of Nana?

"There but by the grace of God..."

I'm ashamed to say that I made a judgment about that woman.  It wasn't very kind. 

It's easy to sit in judgment. We do it all the time, don't we? We can blame the victims of illness, financial disaster, mental breakdowns.  I can say to myself, "well, he should have been more careful about what foods he put into his body.  Then maybe he wouldn't have heart problems now."  Or I can think - "That man could work harder to pay his own way!  Maybe if he had saved for a rainy day, he wouldn't be in a financial mess now."  Yes, I can judge others and blame them for their situations. I'm sure sometimes I might be right.  But the truth is bad things happen to good people.  A man can work hard his whole life to provide for his family, but what happens when he loses his job and can't find another?  What happens to the woman who finds herself in an abusive situation with five small children to care for?  Did she invite the abuse? That little three year boy was born into a family that's not anything like my family.  "There but by the Grace of God, goes my child."  My children and grandchildren have so many people who love them deeply.  That little boy, I just don't know if any one cares.  I sure hope his life is better than what I judged it to be.  But if it's not, if he doesn't feel loved, what will he grow up to be?  Will he get involved with the wrong crowd?  Will he get addicted to the drugs that numb him to his circumstances?  If he does, then I'll probably be standing by "judging".  That's a shame.  The truth is "There but by the grace of God go I".  

Last Thursday, in our Sophomore Girls Bible Study we talked about being careful with our words. Sometimes we say things in a very off handed manner. We make quick judgments about situations, things about which we do not have all the facts. We laugh about people who are different from us. Maybe their struggle is mental illness, or physical deformity. Maybe their struggle is an eating disorder, sexual identity or promiscuity. We condemn and joke about these issues in ruthless ways. Would we be so heartless if we knew our best friend was dealing with one of those issues?  Dr. Phil says "don't judge the man by the moment."  Pretty good advice.  Sometimes people do really dumb things in a moment of pain or fear or anger.  They react to being out of control.  We judge them for their actions.  But we have no idea what they're dealing with.  We really need to be careful with our words and our judging.    The mercy we show
just might be the same mercy we receive.

Matthew 5:7 GOD'S WORD® Translation (©1995)

Blessed are those who show mercy. They will be treated mercifully.


What if some day I'm the one who is hurting?  What if something bad happens to me?  Worse than that, what if the only help I receive is the same level of help I've offered others?  I'm going to be in trouble.
The Sophomore girls amaze me with their compassion and desire to make a difference. They are reaching out to families who are struggling. They are looking at the people around them with the "eyes of Jesus". They're encouraging each other, they are coming along side others who need to know someone cares. They are showing mercy - just like Jesus.

But these sweet young ladies can feel overwhelmed with all the hurting. They weep for those who weep.  They want to make a difference but sometimes we just can't do it.

The fact is there are some struggles which we cannot change. Oh, we help others feel loved and less alone, but in reality, we can't change their situation. Maybe it's illness or financial struggles, maybe it's depression, maybe it's that little boy living in a house without much hope. We might not be able to make those problems go away. But what we can do is point people to Jesus. He offers peace and comfort - supernaturally! I've felt that peace, haven't you?

Some day I may be faced with the same struggles some of my friends are dealing with now.  God may allow a terrible suffering in my life.  If that happens, I pray that I will continue to trust Him completely.  No one loves me more.  No one else died for me.  I feel confident in His plan to give me good and not evil, a future filled with hope.  That may not come until Eternity but Eternity with Him is worth whatever suffering we face on earth. 

Reach out to someone this Season. There is no shortage of people who need help. So many families need to know God's peace. Ask God to show you where you can make a difference. And don't stop after the Season is past. The spirit of Christmas should last through out the year.

This didn't start out to be a devotional. I received the email below from Oscar and Emma. They have twelve children sleeping on a cold floor right now. It's the rainy season in Kisumu and it gets cold at night. I think about these kids every time I crawl into my bed at night. It's soft and warm - I turn my heating blanket on just before I crawl under the covers. I'm so thankful for a safe, warm place to sleep. The Happy Choice kids don't have that. "There but by the grace of God..."If God is drawing you to this ministry in any way, please join me in prayer and support. If you're looking for a way to make a difference, this is a ministry that will help you do that very thing.

Please pray with me that we can raise the funds needed to provide beds and bedding for the children at Happy Choice. The good news is we have a brand new hostel with an actual floor so the children are out of the weather and not sleeping directly on the cold wet ground like before. The old hostel's roof leaked so badly, the kids had to huddle together in the areas where the leaks weren't dripping. But Praise God! The hostel is strong, dry, safe place for them now.

If you would like to contribute towards the beds and bedding, you can go to this website:

http://www.lostorphans.com/    and choose "General Donations" at the top of the page. This will take you to another drop down menu. Choose Happy Choice and then follow the directions for making a donation online. You can also choose to provide monthly support for a child by clicking on the "Sponsor a child" link, and choosing Happy Choice.

We have a few caring sponsors already providing monthly support for some of the children. For $33.00 a month these sponsors are making a big difference in the life a child.  What a blessing they are to Happy Choice and to the sponsors, too!  The blessings we give away always come back doubled!  We can never out-give our loving Father.

Here's Oscar's latest email.  Sometimes, I almost dread reading his emails because I know there is so much need and I cannot help very much.  But Oscar has taught me to keep my eyes on Jesus.  He is the Provider and Protector.  Sometimes, He blesses me with an opportunity to be part of His Provision.  I can't provide all Oscar and the kids need, but God can.  So I just keep looking to Jesus and doing what I can do.  That's all He requires.

http://youtu.be/KaCBTSQZq1E - Try a little kindness - Glen Campbell


Holy Father, Thank You for all my blessings. I do not deserve any of them, yet You keep blessing me over and over again. The only way I have to show my thanks is by living a life that honors You.  Help me to show mercy to those who are going through difficult times.  Help me to stop judging others and instead, Lord, help me to look at my own life.  There's plenty I need to change.  Please keep my eyes on Jesus.  Forgive me when I fail.  Strengthen me when I'm weak.  Give me a heart like His for the hurting.  In Jesus' Name I pray. Amen.

from Oscar:

Praise God Mom,


We hope you are all doing well,the rains are still on and it is very cold in the nights.

One of our children fell sick again yesterday and Emma rushed him to the nearby clinic and got treatments there.

Phocus had some complications in breathing well but the doctor gave him some antibiotics .

The source of must be because of the weather condition but we are praying that our Heavenly Father is going to provide for the beddings and He is going to use somebody for this.

Timoland is also requesting for some money for snacks like the other year so that they can celebrate Christmas together with their friends and he also wanted to have a celebration with their friends to celebrate and thank God for enabling him finish his secondary education.

He encouraged us alot when this young man prayed ,thank God for helping him clear secondary school something he was not sure about at the start.

He took his time praying and praising God for His life,the people and parents God has given him .

Martin left the centre yesterday ,his relative whom he has not seen for years has been looking for him and took him to his place in Nairobi for the holidays .

Reply ,God good.

Son,
Oscar.
--------------------------------------------

There but the grace of God, go I.
When I compare my blessings with Oscar and his kids, my first thought is Why me, Lord? What have I ever done to deserve a family and a safe place to live, food to eat...  I look at these children who have been left orphaned and/or abandoned to live on their own - if it wasn't for Oscar and Emma.  They don't have near the physical blessings I have.  It doesn't seem fair at all. 

But on closer inspection, Oscar and Emma have a faith that moves Mountains.  That faith has been born out of adversity.  They've learned to trust God in everything.  That is the best blessing of all.

Back row:  Martin, Timoland holding baby, Phocus, Donald, Bernard, Maurice.
Front row:  Philister, Rael, another child from the village, Bonny, Bobby and
some other kids from the village that Oscar helps with food.