Do You have a Testimony?

http://youtu.be/vtkhD45H1Ts - Testify to Love - Wynonna Judd



I was practically born on a church pew.

At my church we didn't hear much about "testimonies", so I never was asked to stand up and give my story of how I came to know Christ. If I had been asked, it wouldn't have been very exciting. I grew up knowing about Jesus and believing in Him. In my church, when one gets to a certain age, they just know it's time to make it official. I just knew it was time, so I was baptized 5 days before I turned 11.

As I got older, I heard people talking about giving their testimonies. Not at my church, but at other churches it seemed to be "the thing to do". Everyone seemed to have that one moment when they just knew that they needed Jesus. Most testimonies were very moving and dramatic. I was a little embarrassed because I didn't have the big moment when I just knew. I grew up knowing! I knew my whole life.

Looking back now, I realize I didn't have a testimony because I never really understood that I needed a Savior. I loved Jesus and I knew He had been crucified for sinners. But growing up in church as I did, it never occurred to me that I was one of those sinners.

When I was still in school, I was a very good girl. If I'm really honest, I was probably good more out of fear of getting caught and punished than out of a desire to do the right thing, but still, I was a good girl. I certainly didn't have any "real" sins that Jesus would have had to die for. My little mistakes certainly wouldn't have required that I be punished. Jesus didn't need to take my punishment because I didn't really deserve serious punishment. After all, my parents could catch me doing something I shouldn't do, and all they had to do was tell me and I wouldn't do it any more. See! No need for punishment for my sins. Just explain my mistake to me. I won't do it anymore. I'm a good girl. Or at least, that's what I thought.

I think there's a lot of us Christians who "inherited" our faith from godly parents. And I thank God every day for putting me in the family of two loving parents who taught me about Jesus right from the beginning. I knew every story in the Bible, I could recite the books of the old testament and the new testament, name the apostles, sing the fruit of the Spirit song, etc. I knew all about Jesus. The problem was I didn't KNOW Jesus.

Well, I babystepped my way into a sinful life. Trust me, I now have a testimony! I know how I am without my Savior. I know that I am not good on my own. Satan convinced that little girl who I was to believe that she was "good". But even Jesus wouldn't let people call Him good! How in the world could I think I was good?

The problem was that my idea of good and God's idea of good are two totally different things.

What I didn't understand was God's holiness. God isn't just good. HE is GOODNESS. He is Light and in Him there is NO Darkness. HE will not tolerate sins - big or little. He can't. He is too Holy and Righteous!

Sounds harsh, doesn't it?

But maybe not so much...

I was watching a movie about the atrocities in Rwanda. Mass genocide was ongoing. Senseless murdering. Innocent women and children were raped and slaughtered as if they were nothing. My blood ran cold. I couldn't stand to watch the heartless butchering. Babies were thrown to the ground or slammed into walls; torture that I wouldn't want anyone to endure. Just watching the movie, I felt dirty, sick to my stomach. This was surely pure evil. And I didn't want anything to do with it.

Have you ever felt like that? Have you ever been in the presence of someone who was doing something that you felt was so wrong, it made you feel sick? Didn't you just want to get out of there as quickly as you could? To blot it out of your memory?

Well, that's how God feels about any sin. You see, you and I aren't good. Oh, we think we are sometimes, but Jesus tells us in Luke 18:19 - "Why do you call me good?" replied Jesus; "there is no one good but One, namely God.

God's ways are so much higher than our ways. And His Goodness is so much greater than our concept of "goodness". Just as the genocide in Rwanda makes me want to turn my head and look away, my sins, yes, even my "little" sins, make God want to turn His Face from me. Because of His Righteousness and Justice, He is disgusted by my sins - no matter how big or small. All sin is an abomination to Him and an affront to His Holiness.

Have you ever been in a situation where you witnessed someone being mistreated or bullied?

The bully or bullies pick out a target; someone they perceive as weaker, smaller, or different; and then the bully proceeds to beat that person down. The bully takes joy in making his victim feel worthless, like he doesn't matter to anyone. One bully can start a chain reaction by inciting the others in his group to join in. Before very long, there's a whole group of ruthless bullies attacking one helpless victim. It reminds me of what happens when food is thrown into a fish tank and all the fish get into a feeding frenzy! The bully and his gang become crazed, almost like wild animals ready to rip their prey to shreds.

I'm sure you've seen things like that happen. How did it make you feel? Did you get that sick feeling in your stomach? As you witnessed the growing intensity of the mob, were you afraid? Were you too afraid to step up and say "NO More!" ? Have you ever wished you were big enough and strong enough to just beat the snot out of the bully! Doesn't everything in you just scream that justice must be done? The bully should have to pay a price for his actions.

When God sees injustices and other sinful acts, unlike us, He is not afraid and He steps boldly into those situations and tells us, "NO, I will not tolerate your sins!" And HE turns His face from us. Because He is a Holy and just God. One day, He will punish all sin.

God is Holy and Good and thankfully, He is also full of mercy. He will not and cannot tolerate my sin, but in His great love, He provided a Sacrificial Lamb to stand in my place and take my punishment for me.

Isaiah 53:5
But He was pierced for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on Him, and by His wounds we are healed.

God's love is amazing. It's so much deeper than I can imagine. I think about those evil men in Rwanda and the ungodly things they have done to helpless victims. I'm not sure how much love I would have to give to someone who had just raped my daughter or tortured my mother or father to death. I'm not sure I would have much mercy. Don't those atrocities deserve punishment of the most severe measure?

Yes, they do. But so do my sins deserve punishment. God's justice is that "the wages of sin (any sin) is death." Because I am a sinner, I have been sentenced to death. That's the price I have to pay to a Holy God for living a life that dishonors Him. I don't like that too much. But neither does HE. 2 Peter 3:8-9 - "But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the LORD a day is like a thousand years and a thousand years are like a day. The LORD is not slow in keeping His promise (to return) as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance." GOD is GOOD. And GOD is also LOVE. He knew I was going to fail. He knew I couldn't be perfect. He loved me anyway. Since HE simply could not tolerate sin that reigned in my life, He made a very special plan. He sent His one and only Son to take my punishment, to die in my place, so that I could live. That's amazing love!


http://youtu.be/zt-lUMBWi30 - The Prodigal Son - Casting Crowns


This song is my testimony. At least, it's pretty close. I chose a life of sin. I turned my back on God, but He wouldn't let go. He just kept sending me little reminders. I'm so very thankful that HE didn't give up on me.

I'm now older and should be wiser, but I'm not so sure I am. One thing I have learned is that those little "innocent" sins I committed when I was young, they were the "not so innocent" babysteps that I took on my way to the bigger sins. God hated those little babystep sins because He knew what was coming. When I finally realized what had happened, I reached out to my Father, and He reached back. He covered me with Jesus' robe of righteousness. Now, when my Father looks at me, He sees the righteousness of Jesus - my sins are gone. Jesus paid my debt and I am His forever.

Holy Father, forgive me for every thinking I was good. Forgive me for thinking my "little" sins weren't important. I now realize that even the tiniest sins give the Enemy a foothold. And my pride, my thinking that I don't need Jesus to save me from my sins, that is a huge hold I give to Satan. Please help me to see when I start feeling a little to full of myself, a little too prideful. Do whatever You must do to remind me, Father. Without Jesus I am nothing. And any thing good that I do is like filthy rags in Your Holy Presence.

Father, how do You put up with me? I'm such a mess!

Oh, yes, now I remember...

You are my Father who loves me beyond my comprehension. And now, when You look at me, You see the blood of Jesus covering every sin. You understand my weaknesses and instead of beating me down, You offer Your strength to me. How can I not love You, the One who loves me more than anyone on earth will ever love me!

Thank You, sweet Jesus, for covering me with Your precious blood. Because of what You've done, I can stand before our Father, spotless and pure. Thank You for loving me so very much. I have nothing of my own to offer. Everything I have comes from You. All I can do is honor Your Holy Name by living a life that brings you glory. Be glorified in my life, LORD. You are so worthy! In Jesus' Holy Name I pray. Amen.



http://youtu.be/jr3yoUJg7SU - Jesus Paid it All - Aaron Keyes